Confessions of a recluse blogger

Ok, I have a confession to make. Some of you may already know this, but for those of you out there who don't know yet, here it is...I LOVE, love, looooove Dancing With the Stars. Sick, I know, but I can't help it. I am a complete addict. The difficulty is I can't watch it here on Monday nights. We don't even own a TV for christ sake, not that we could get American shows on it if we did have one, and then DWTS would be on at hmmm... it's on at 8:00pm so that would make it 2:00am here! So, I have resorted to skulking on a Torrent site where you can download TV shows and the like. It drives me nuts when the newest Dancing with the Stars episode isn't posted right away. I have been checking that damn site nearly every 30 minutes ALL day today in the hopes that it will suddenly appear. Alas, it's still not there and I just KNOW that tonight's results show will get posted up there before Monday nights show and I'll break down by Thursday and go look at the DWTS website and ruin it for myself, again. Yeah, that's what I did last week and found out that oh, big surprise, Mark Cuban was booted. But even more than that I saw clips of Marie Osmond fainting. Man, it totally ruined the surprise value of that one when I finally watched the actual episode. If only I had been of stronger will then I too could have gasped with shock and dismay at the fantastic fainting Osmond, but I have no will power and thus it was not to be.
So, I'm going to be strong this week. I will not go to the website under any circumstances. If you've ever been to the website then you also know that you are constantly subjected to these stupid Huggies commercials. I get it, Huggies are not made for bricks, but for real human babies. I pass the tip along to my sister-in-law, whose preggers. Did you get that Jenn? Huggies are for human babies, not bricks, just in case you missed that salient point during your last pregnancy. If you happen to pop out an adorable little brick (hey stranger things have happened in the Moss family!) then DO NOT use Huggies.
Ok, enough about Huggies. Back to DWTS. I've gotten just a tad bit obsessed with it and even found myself reading some of the posts. People are nuts. I'm just saying, I might be out of my mind, but I don't broadcast it to the whole world by posting ridiculous things on the DWTS website. Hmmm...wait a minute...do I smell a hypocrite blogger, here. sniff, sniff, sniff...
Whoa mama, I don't know if it's hypocrisy I'm smelling or just my rank ol' self. Seriously folks, I'm ashamed to admit this, but my personal hygiene is going straight down the toilet. I know, I know it's very European to not wear deodorant and smell like b.o. ,but not really. Yikes, not only do I stanck, with a capital S, but I can't even remember if I brushed my teeth or washed my face this morning, I know I didn't shower, one whiff and you'd know too. Man, not having a job while sounding great and all can be detrimental to your personal well-being. I'm sitting here marinating in my stink and I'm not even moved to go and shower - I don't have to. I'm a recluse who doesn't leave the apartment what's the point? Granted, I do have an urge to go brush my teeth. Think of the future dentist bills if I don't. I keep telling myself, "surely, Melanie, you brushed your teeth this morning. That's what normal people do, they get up, eat breakfast drink some coffee, maybe read the newspaper (not me we don't get any newspapers and they'd all be in French anyways) then they brush their teeth, wash up, get dressed...yeah, but normal people also shower and you didn't, so what makes you think you brushed your teeth?" Hmm, good point self.
Hey, it's not that abnormal to talk to yourself! Get off my back, I'm home alone all day with 2 dogs, either I talk to myself or I talk to them. Well, you got me, I do both. But I still feel confidant that when I talk to myself I am still talking to the smartest being in the room. I dare you to deny it.
so, yeah. Me + hygiene = not so great friends right now. Thank god I have a loving husband who doesn't notice such little things like morning breath at 7:00 at night or the smell of my unwashed body. Really, who is he to complain. I don't go play soccer for 2 hours then come home and sit around drenched in sweat, stinkin' to high heaven for an hour before I'm "ready" to shower. I mean, please, it's not like it's been that long since I've showered....er...what day is it again?
Now that I think about it I better go and brush my teeth...