I just need to get this out

aaah, I can't find the results show to Dancing with the Stars. I so want to see who is kicked off this week! But I don't want to go to the website or read it on-line I WANT to SEE the show. I thought everyone did so well this week. I don't know who I would vote for if I weren't living over seas. For me it's getting to the point where all the really terrible dancers are gone so I don't know who I want to see leave. Personally, I don't think that Marissa or Shannon can win but I enjoy watching both of them.

And, yes, I like watching the little Shannon - Derek saga. I loved that they got so upset and ranted last week and that tons of people watching were outraged by their behavior. That's good programming people. Sure, it was rather impolitic to say what Derek did especially since he was referring to the other stars who aren't any more professional dancers than Shannon and work just as hard as she does...but lets face it ABC knew that would get people intrigued to tune and watch what happens next. that's why they aired that clip instead of a different portion of their "Confessional". It makes for high drama. Sex sells, baby. I definitely don't think Shannon can win but it's possible she could make it to the top 3 or 4. She seems to have trouble with the Latin dances and nail the Ballroom dances. Mario on the other hand can shake it like no other in the Latin dances and has a bit of trouble getting it under control for the ballroom dances. At this point I'd enjoy watching any of the stars continue on.

Cristian is probably one of the weaker dancers but he just seems like such a genuine guy. I can't help rooting for him. Besides, it would just suck if he were voted off on the night he injured his arm. Poor guy. I haven't looked in the news yet (because I don't want to know who gets booted) so I don't know how serious an injury it is. Hope he's feeling better.

Yeah, so I just wanted to share that since my darling husband couldn't care less about DWTS. He occasionally indulges me by listening to me babble on or by watching a little clip of the show - I forced him to watch Jason Taylor Paso to the Monday Night football theme. I thought that was hysterical. I could definitely see him as a finalist he's quite impressive.

Oh and one more thing about those confessionals and all the hullabaloo about Shannon and Derek's last week. The pros and the stars get pissy and upset every year and many, MANY of them have bashed the judges for what they felt were unfair comments or scores. So, get over it people it's not like it has never happened before. That's all I have to say.

I can't wait to see who's still around for next week. Yay!!! I LOVE Dancing with the Stars!

p.s. If you watch, who are you rooting for and why? Just curious to see what other people think.

tres cool

I just spoke with the DH on the phone and he saw Angela Merkel. Yep, the Chancellor of Germany! Isn't that cool? She's here today visiting CERN and getting a tour, giving a little speech and taking photo ops with the German workers at CERN. I don't now all the details and it's not like he actually met her or anything...but he saw her. And he heard her giving her little rah, rah speech to the German physicists. Naturally, he didn't understand a thing that she was saying...but he saw her.

That's about all I've got to say.

early morning

Each morning DH and I take turns getting up at 6:30 a.m. with the dog. Neither one of us are morning people so we agree to share the pain of waking up and going for a 30 minute walk at the crack of dawn. Although there are days that I just can't stay awake after the walk.
This was one of those mornings. DH awoke to find both me and Ally curled up snoozing away on the couch. Aaaahhh, it's actually kinda cute, isn't it?

I absolutely love when I fall asleep only to wake up and find Ally, who had been lying at the other end of the couch when I curled up, practically on top of me. She just wiggles her way down the couch till we're sharing a pillow and she it snoring contentedly in my ear. It's totally endearing.

What have I done now!?

aaahhh, as if getting ticketed on the bus weren't bad enough, now I seem to have issues with driving our car. No, I didn't get a ticket nothing like that. It's just...well...you see I was asked late Thursday night if I would be able to go in to work Friday afternoon to teach one of the Stage 2 classes (that's kids 10-12 years old). I said, "Sure, no problem. It should be fun." So Friday afternoon found me jumping into the car and heading off for work. It's about a 30 minute drive through the back roads and smallish towns. An easy drive that I practically have on automatic pilot now.

All was fine, it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining you could see the alps clearly in distance. It was one of those moments where you just sigh contentedly thinking, "Gosh, I can't believe I live in such a beautiful place!" All was right with the world. Until, that is I actually reached Tannay. Now to give you an idea you enter town by going around a curve where the road immediately narrows. There are no sidewalks, no shoulder of the road, just stone buildings to your right and your left. Yes, there is enough space for two cars to pass each other, but it is tight. I come around the curve and there is a car coming my way. The other car is hugging the center of the road - there are no lines on the road, by the way. So I just move the car a little bit more to the right. I had plenty of space...or so I thought... KACHUNK...I hit the corner of stone building with my passenger side mirror! I didn't stop I just kept going as I really hadn't processed what had just happened. I glance at the mirror, "Oh shit," there is the glass dangling from the plastic, reflecting the side of the car in it's fractured face.

Luckily that's all the damage there was. Not too horrendous considering. I mean it' s not like the whole mirror had been ripped completely off the car or something. Just one more of the increasingly long list of things to fix on the car. It is definitely going to have to go to the shop for some servicing soon. And perhaps I need to find some exercises on improving depth perception. I really thought I had plenty of room. On the other hand when I went home later that evening I took a good look at the corner of that building and from the gouges I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person whose clipped it with their car! These narrow European roads can be dangerous! And that's no joke.

Breakin' the law

The truth is out, I am officially a law breaker. And I have the ticket to prove it! Here's the story. Last Wednesday I took the bus from our little town of Sergy, France to Chene-Bougeries, Switzerland on the opposite side of Geneva. That is where the Theatre classes I help teach are held on Wednesdays. I had a pleasant enough bus ride there in the late morning, arriving in good time for class. We had a good class, I am now assisting in two classes, the minnies and the Stage 1 (7-9 year olds). They were two good classes, my day was going well. I planned on running across the street to the grocery store to break my ten swiss franc bill in order to buy a bus ticket, but the bus was already there and I didn't want to miss it.

For those not familiar with the Geneva area buses let me explain a little. There are ticket machines at every bus stop where you decide how many zones you are going to travel, you push the correct button, put in the money et voila, you have a ticket. You can also purchase a card that has money on it at the transportation offices in which case you don't need the change, just the little card. Fairly simple. The only problem is these machines don't accept paper money AND they don't give you any change back. Those tricky transportation people! Instead of the machine giving you change you have to take your ticket to one of the local offices and get your money from them. Clever, I'm sure most people are like me and can't be bothered to go and get their change or immediately lose their ticket the minute they get home. I mean really. It's not difficult to make a machine that gives back change. There are pop and snack machines all over the place that do it. Can you imagine buying a coke from a machine and then having to go to the Coca Cola office in order to get your change? Ridiculous. But that's the way the cookie crumbles.

So, to get on with my personal story. I didn't want to miss my bus and since I had to changes a bus to a tram to another bus I figured somewhere along the way I'd pop into a store and get some change. Then I'd be able to buy my bus ticket and not have any problems. The thing about bus tickets in Geneva is that NOBODY ever checks to see if you have a ticker or bus pass. I have never had anyone ask to see my ticket while I was on public transportation in Geneva. In fact, I have ridden the bus without a ticket quite a few times. For shame, I know. But if you're only going a short way it seems such a waste. Unfortunately, though at the time it felt very fortunate, I seemed to arrive at the stops at just the perfect time to catch my next tram and/or bus. The one place where I had a few minutes (a stop called Avanchet where I catch the Y bus that goes into France) there were no shops in the area where I could get change. I was a bit nervous, but half my journey was over with and I figured what were the odds the bus police would be checking today.


Well, as you might have guessed the odds were not in my favor. As we pulled up to a stop 3 stops before mine I saw two men in black suits standing there waiting to get on. It was the BUS Police!!! Just my luck. My stomach started somersaulting and I started trying to come up with an explanation in French. Then I landed on the perfect solution. I handed him my ticket from that morning. If I was questioned about the time I'd look all around and pretend I must have lost my other ticket! Perfect. Feeling a little shaky I handed over my ticket. He glanced at it. And I thought, "Success!" But no, once again I was wrong.

He didn't seem to notice the time, but it seems I had bought the wrong ticket! Can you believe it? Apparently I bought the "all Geneva" good for an hour ticket, which the bus police informed me was only good in Geneva. In very patient French he explained that at that moment we were in France. He must have thought I was a complete idiot. I thought maybe the stupid, innocent foreigner look would get me off, but I just didn't seem to have any luck that day. He asked for my passport. I sullenly handed it over. He went to the front of the bus.
A minute later after some consultation with his partner he returned and began filling out a ticket. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I thought, "Don't cry you idiot. It's your own damn fault. At least he thought you had a ticket!" He looked at me and was very apologetic but said it was indeed an infraction and he had to give me a ticket. 23 Euros if I paid right there on the spot. More (I didn't quite catch the amount) if they had to send me the ticket. I looked in my wallet and realized I only had 10 euros, but I had 50 swiss francs. He said I could pay in Francs - 42 swiss francs is what it came to. Sigh, I paid my debt to society with a little sniffle and a watery smile.

I received my change just in time to get off at my stop. I swiftly glanced around trying to conceal the tears that were about to leak from my eyes and noticed that two other people were getting tickets as well. They looked as though they couldn't care less. Then I noticed that there were only five people on the bus to begin with! 3 out of 5 getting tickets, not a bad hull for those bus police. And, hey look on the bright side: for once I was in the "in-crowd"!

The hubby was told by an office mate that I was lucky. Usually tickets are over 100 swiss francs. Whew, I guess I did get off pretty easy. Still, I think I'll make sure I buy a ticket, the right ticket next time.

sorry

I know I haven't posted much this week, but lots has been going on. Unfortunately, I'm not really going to post much now either. I will try and get around to sharing my weeks exploits with you this weekend. Don't despair I'll get to it....eventually. Right now I have a pounding headache and I just need to lie down for a bit before Tango tonight. But I'll fill you in the life and times of an American in Sergy soon. See, this is what happens when you get a job - no time to blog! And that's only working 2 days a week ! wow, I suck.

Healthy? I think not.

Who on earth decided that jogging was a healthy thing to do? If I ever find them I'll wring their scrawny little neck! As perhaps you have guessed by the previous statements I thought it would be a good idea to start jogging. After taking Ally to Botanic, the local garden/pet store, and discovering that she weighs about 85 pounds I decided that our daily hour long afternoon walks just weren't doing the trick.

Both the hubby and I had deluded ourselves into thinking that she looked a bit slimmer but the scales do not lie. Perhaps we thought she looked so svelte because of the tubba-bubba we pick up on our daily walks past the farm. Let me explain. There are some nice paths down the road that go past our neighbors farm through a bunch of fields, past a horse paddock to ...well I don't know exactly where the path ends I've never continued on straight. At different points the path breaks off and you can do two different loops. I find this a good place to walk Ally because I can let her off her leash and we don't have to worry about traffic. There is a house near the farm on this path where a very large, friendly, Black Lab lives. He is adorable. He also enjoys accompanying us on our walks. As soon as he sees us he gets up and starts ferociously wagging his tail. If the driveway gate is open he immediately joins us, if it's closed we pass by and the next thing I know he's trotting down the path after us. Obviously, he has an escape route from his fenced in yard. He is a lovable, happy, old lab who stays with us the whole walk. In fact, there have been times I've tried to send him home because we were crossing the road and would be going where there was traffic. Besides, I didn't want to be responsible to making sure he got back home. But, I couldn't shake him and he followed us all through our neighborhood.

I was actually stopped by a little old lady who wanted to know why I didn't have him on a leash. I explained he wasn't my dog (Ally was on her leash) he just followed us. I had a brief conversation in stunted French with this lady and by the end of it she was ranting about la rage - rabies. I assured her that Ally was vaccinated and I was sure the other dog was fine. Oh by the way, Ally my actual dog was pulling to get going and antsy. Tubba-bubba, not my dog, just sat by my side panting happily waiting for me to continue on. No wonder people thought he was my dog!

So in comparison to Tubby there Ally looks like an anorexic super model! I let this comparison lull me into a false sense that she was losing weight and getting healthier. So, to make a long story short...hmmm...too late. I decided a little jogging would be beneficial for both me and Ally. Especially considering how it took me all afternoon last Wednesday to recover from my little jog to catch the bus.

We, Ally and I, went for a jog yesterday afternoon. It was tough, but we stuck with it. And this morning my knee was sore. I mentioned it to my husband and said I didn't think I'd go jogging today because of it. He thought that I should go jogging today to loosen up my muscles and that my knee would probably feel better after. How wrong he was. Well, to be truth while I was jogging my knee didn't really bother me but afterwards it did. Plus it was a little swollen. So I iced it down with some peas and watched a little JOOST. Sadly, I am now hooked on some stupid British reality show called Psychic Private Eyes. It's awesome. I don't know if I really believe in Psychics and stuff, but it would be utterly fascinating if it were true.

OK, I need to go get the peas again. My knee is starting to throb a bit. Damn exercise, what idiot declared it was good for your health?

What a day!

First, I almost missed the bus. I got there just in time to run after it waving my hands in the air. Luckily, the driver took pity on me and stopped to let me on. I breathlessly said, "merci beaucoup, Monsieur!" (It is deemed impolite not to say Madame or Monsieur) He said something I didn't quite catch - 1) it was in French and 2) even if I could have understood it I couldn't actually hear the words over the rumble of the bus starting to move. No doubt it was something witty or maybe a chastisement about being on time for the bus. So, anyways I reached my destination with plenty of time to spare. An hour, to be exact. I knew that I would have this free hour and figured I'd just wander around the area or something. What I didn't count on was it to start raining the minute I got to Geneva. And me without my umbrella.

So, I wandered around and found a shopping center. I meandered through the grocery store and a tabac (a little store that sells magazines, newspapers, and things). Then I decided to grab a coffee and read my book - I am currently rereading the last Harry Potter book. It's fabulous, isn't it?

It was nice to be out of the rain and sit down a bit. I was right on time to meet up with Jenna (the head teacher of the academy) we had a good class. The kids are fun - it's another "minnies" class ages 4-6. I led a few games and got to know them a bit. I think I'm going to have some problems remembering who's who in this class. The Thursday classes in Tannay seem to be populated with Isabella's and this Wednesday class in Chene-Bougeries is dominated with Alex names! There is Alexander, Alexandra, Alexia, Alexis, and one more I think. Crazy, no?

We got through the class. Jenna kindly offered to drop me at a bus stop closer to home, which was super nice of her. Unfortunately, I ended up getting dropped of one road over from where I needed to be so I splashed through the puddles and rain. My lucky day, I stepped into a nice big puddle, the water pooled into the cuffs of my pants, which I didn't realize till I took another step and all the water poured down out of the cuff and directly into my sneakers. Eventually, I got to the right tram stop. Took that one stop where I needed to await the bus. Naturally, this bus stop didn't have a shelter so I stood out in the rain for a good 10 minutes. Finally, I got into a nice dry bus a bit chilled, my feet soaking wet, but non the worse for wear.

I settled into my seat and started to read Harry Potter. I am usually very good at judging where we are in the bus trip. I occasionally glance up and can figure how much longer till my stop. Today, I don't know what happened. Maybe it was because there were fewer people on the bus, thus fewer stops or maybe I just got so engrossed in my book, but whatever it was I looked up and didn't recognize where we were. Hmm...strange I thought as I returned to my book. Then it hit me. I looked out the window again and realized I had missed my stop. I was in the next town over. I got off at the next time and trekked back to Sergy and home sweet home. Thankfully, it wasn't too far away. Maybe a fifteen minute walk at most. And best of all it had finally stopped raining.

Now, Ally is driving me nuts whining, but truth be told I don't want to walk anymore. I feel like my whole day has either been sloshing through the rain or sitting on the bus. And I just want to curl up in something warm and dry and relax.

oi vay

So, just a quick post before I (hopefully) run out the door to catch the bus. Today is my first day of teaching (or rather assistant teaching) the "Minnies" class in Chene-Bougerie. It's on the other side of the lake in Geneva. I've never been there before and since the hubby is on shift this morning plus has soccer this evening I thought it would just be easier for him to take the car and for me to take the bus. Unfortunately, in order to be where I need to be by 12:30 p.m. I have to take the 10:19 a.m. bus. This will actually get me to where I need to be an hour early, but I figured that was better than half an hour late (which was the next bus). Earlier is better anyways because it gives me time to actually find my way from the bus stop to the school where the drama classes are held and time to grab a bite of lunch before class. The class, by the way, starts at 13:00(1 p.m.)

I was confused at first by this schedule - silly me thinking the kids should be in their actual schools at this time - but as it turns out kids who go to school in Geneva only have a half day on Wednesday. Not bad, if you ask me.

So here comes the problems. As I was getting ready - still in my pajamas, just about to brush my teeth, the dog starts barking her head off and the doorbell rings. It's the plumber. which is fabulous because we've been having our pipes vibrating at such a frequency that they emit a high pitched shriek starting at about 1:30 a.m. Yes, this started last Wednesday - the hubby was brilliant and duct taped the pipes together. He's had to reapply the tape nearly every day, but at least we've been able to sleep through the nights. So, it's great news that the plumber is here. Bad news is, I don't know if he'll be finished in time for me to catch the bus.

well, I better get everthing else ready, just in case.

Montgonfliades!

The Jet d'eau from la Rive Droite

Yesterday, Sunday, the hubby and I piled ourselves and the dog into our little ford fiesta and drove down to Geneva to see the 4e Montgonfliades international de Geneve - the 4th annual Hot Air Balloon Festival. Just imagine all those bright colored balloons floating lazily above Lac Leman (lake Geneva to English speakers) the white peaks of Mont Blanc and the rest of the French Alps as a backdrop. A stunning image, wouldn't you imagine? Well, we'll all just keep on imagining what it might look like because we didn't see a single balloon. Not one. "Where were they?" you might inquire. I'd sure like to know that myself. I don't have a clue where the darned things were. Certainly not in Geneva!


Regardless, we still had a nice afternoon, albeit a chilly one, strolling around the parks. I can only remember the name of one Park Barton. I discovered my favorite Geneva statue in this park. What else could you ask for at a playground than a statue of a naked little boy strangling a goose? I say, "Go get 'em, Tiger."

We also discovered the History of Science Museum. We had Ally with us so we didn't go in...well, we each ran in to use les toilettes, but not to look around. We'll have to go back some time seeing as it's free admission and the hubby is a scientist and all. There were some scientific stuff scattered around outside that you could play with, which was great fun.
I don't remember which family lived in this house back in the day and then donated it to the city....but, can you imagine living in such a place? It would be amazing! To awake each morning to such a view of the lake and the mountains would be stunning. In case you hadn't guessed it the lawn sweeps down to the lake. Or, at least, to the paved pedestrian path by the lake. You can't see it too well but in the far away picture of the museum there is a man lying face down on a bed of newspapers. It was so strange to see. People (us included) kept stopping and staring trying to figure out if he was alright. Two women actually had the courage to walk up to where the man was lying. They didn't get too close. They stood a few feet away cautiously circling him and leaning in to get a closer look. Presumably they saw him breathing because eventually they shrugged their shoulders at one another and sauntered away. I took this a proof that the man was still alive and just wanted to take a cold nap in the middle of the day in the middle of the park. Pourquoi pas? (poor-kwa pah) Why not?
We wandered around the park
playing and enjoying the day till we got hungry and decided to call it a day and head home to make some nice, American, hamburgers!

Oh, the hubby wouldn't take a spin on this self propelled carousel because it gives him motion sickness, ah pauvre bebe! (pah- vre bay-bay)

le petit train that give tours (I think) isn't it too cut?

and last, but not least, mon mari devant lac leman

tips for baking in France...

...and perhaps also tips for shopping for ingredients in France as well. It took me some time to figure out where the items I needed were stocked in our local grocery store as well as what the heck they were called. Now that I have figured out the local Migros (pronounce mee-grow) I am loath to venture into other stores for my groceries. It's not too bad going into another French store, but drive across the border into Switzerland and you are back to square-one. Not only are things shelved in different areas, but they are called different things. Yes, it's still in French (and often German and Italian as well) but they have not only different name brands, but different names entirely! One example that I think is actually pretty funny is that milk, lait (lay) in French, is called Drink in Switzerland! I don't know why but I find that so very amusing.

So, on to ingredients for baking. The standard ingredients you have to look for when baking are the following: sugar, flour, butter, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, cocoa powder...I'm sure I'm missing something....yeast if you're baking bread. Those are the standards, right? Well, I don't know what it's like in other countries, but in the U.S. all those items are pretty much in one aisle -the baking aisle. Here that is not the case. Yes, the flour, sugar, vanilla and baking powder are in the "baking" section. But the cocoa powder is in the aisle with coffee, tea, and hot chocolate mix! This seems very strange to me. Perhaps you can make hot cocoa with baking cocoa but why bother when there is shelf after shelf of powder chocolate designed specifically to throw into hot milk instantly making hot chocolate? Once you discover that this is where the baking cocoa is your job is not over. You still have to pay careful attention to which canister of cocoa you are getting. Note the picture to the left. These two canisters look almost identical, don't they? Yes. OK, except that they have different pictures of baked goods on them - but they are pictures of baked goods. Not chocolate milk or something. So, naturally knowing what the cocoa canister looked like I just grabbed one during a quick shopping trip. Only to discover that there was indeed a key difference between this canister and the one I usually bought for baking. Look at the following pictures and see if you notice the difference.
Ah , yes. If you said the difference is one says cacao en poudre and one says chocolat en poudre, you would be correct. Now you may be asking yourself, "what is the difference?" The difference is quite obvious when you open the containers and see that one is the dark, rich, unsweetened cocoa (or cacao) used in baking and the other is a light, sugary powder which looks like a more granular form of Swiss Miss hot chocolate (which as far as I can tell they do NOT sell in Switzerland or France -Swiss Miss , my ass). In my defense the containers do look almost exactly the same and if you read the instructions on the chocolat en poudre it claims it too is for baking. there is a recipe for some sort of mousse that I'm going to have to try one of these days, but it certainly is not what I want to throw into my chocolate snack cake!

Next we come to the baking powder. It is found in the baking section but if you don't know what your looking for it can take you hours to track it down. First off, it is called levure chimique or I have also heard it referred to as levure anglaise. This is sort of funny because levure is French for yeast, anglaise is English and chimique is chemical. So their baking powder is called chemical yeast or English yeast. I guess it sort of makes sense since baking powder is the agent which helps baked goods rise. I just think it's funny because, apparently, the French didn't need this component in their baking till the English came along and started settling down in France. I only was able to discover the what baking powder was called and how to find it thanks to a dear friend who visited us the second month we were living here. She was a French major in college and had no qualms tracking down an elusive store employee and making them tell her where these essential ingredients were - it was also thanks to her we discovered where the baking soda was kept. The store employee who assisted her immediately made the assumption that she was British, why else would she have any need for levure anglaise? I really need to find out what the French use to make baked goods. Then again, they don't seem to be a huge cookie country, you know? They're much more into their pastries and fruit tarts. Whew, now we know what baking powder is called -but the tricky thing, for an American at least, is how it is packaged. I kept scanning the shelves for a canister or at the very least a box of baking powder. Oh no, not in France. Here your baking powder comes in little packets. There are 4 packets to a package.

Luckily, baking soda is called bicarbonate, which makes sense. It is even in a box very similar to our very own Arm and Hammer boxes back in the States, only it's not bright orange, but blue and white. The difficulty for me was that it was not in the baking section. It was near the spices and salt. Once again it is only thanks to our friend that we found it at all. It's amazing how ingrained certain things become to you. Why on earth should I be scanning the shelves of a French market for an orange box with an arm holding a hammer on it? It's ridiculous, but that's what I found myself doing. Stupid American, I know. But I've gotten over it now.

Hmm...I think that's all I got for the moment. I need to go whip up the brownie mix that was sent to us in our Christmas care packages. If you are wondering, yes you can indeed buy mixes for cakes and brownies here in France but they cost a fortune. I'm not kidding. In the States you can get a box mix for what? .99 cents? Here is costs 6 - 8 Euros! With the current exchange rate ( don't get me started no that) it works out to be about $9 - $12! I love me some Duncan Hines brownies but not enough to shell out 10 bucks for them!!! I'll make my own thank you very much...assuming I manage to buy the right canister of cocoa powder, that is.

Top Ten April Fool's Day Pranks

I wasn't clever enough to come up with a good April Fool's day joke to play on all of you, so I thought I'd share with you some very funny practical jokes that have been played over the years. Hope none of you suffered too badly from pranks gone awry! Perhaps you perpetrated a few pranks yourself. If so, please feel free to share them. I love hearing about people being humiliated...er...I mean having a friendly joke played on them as you do! hee, hee, hee....

Here is the link where I found these pranks: Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes
I just reposted the top ten here for the other 90 click the link above. Enjoy!

#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied that they should "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

#2: Sidd Finch

In its April 1985 edition, Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton.

#3: Instant Color TV

In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

#4: The Taco Liberty Bell

In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced that it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

#5: San Serriffe

In 1977 the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian's phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer's terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that gripped the British tabloids in subsequent decades.

#6: Nixon for President

In 1992 National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

#7: Alabama Changes the Value of Pi

The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Before long the article had made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly made its way around the world, forwarded by people in their email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by a physicist named Mark Boslough.

#8: The Left-Handed Whopper

In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

#9: Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers

In its April 1995 issue Discover Magazine announced that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.

#10: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.



I am particularly found of the left-handed whopper! About time someone made something for all us lefties. Ha, ha...