I've been Joost

Have you ever heard of Joost (pronounced juiced)? It is simultaneously my secret love and the bane of my existence. As you may or may not know we do not have a TV here in France, not that the French don't have television it's just that it hasn't been a huge priority for us. We've had so many other expenses in moving here, then returning to the States for our wedding that shelling out the Euros for a TV and then the additional cost of getting the satellite and all that junk just seemed unnecessary. For us having an internet connection was much more important than TV and just as good. And now that we have discovered Joost, a free computer installation that offers a variety of television shows, life is perfect. Well...maybe not perfect. The problem for me is that some days I could spend the entire day vegging out in front of a television. It's terrible. I watch the most ridiculous stuff that is utter trash, of no value whatsoever, and yet secretly I love it.
Yesterday I spent practically the whole day knitting little baby socks for my new niece - oh yeah, did I mention we have an adorable little niece. Brianna was born on February1st! - and watching Bridezilla. Yes, I repeat, Bridezilla! It is my guilty little pleasure. I know that I should turn it off or at least put on the history channel or national geographic - broaden my mind, or at least use my mind a little, but no. I can't do it. I am entranced by the brides-to-be rampaging through New York City. The tears, the drama, the snarkyness. I am utterly entranced and totally embarrassed to admit it, but there it is.

I kept going through my own actions as a recent bride wondering if I was that horrible? Did I snap unnecessarily at my family, friends, and then fiance? Did the tears come flooding out at the most insignificant things? Well, the answer to the last one has to be an emphatic yes considering my entire life revolves around a flood or tears over the most trivial and ridiculous things. I think that I wasn't too bad, I know throughout the whole process I kept saying to myself, "what really matters is that at the end of the day we'll be married." And really, that is what the whole day is about, isn't it? I'm sure I had my snippy bridezilla moments, but in comparison to the women who mesmerized me yesterday with their grotesque fixations with the color of table linens and the exact number of flowers per vase I was nothing. Yeah, I did burst into tears in the middle of the kitchen the morning of our wedding because the coffee wasn't ready yet. I just stood next to the sink sobbing, "I'm just so tired." And I truly was. I didn't want to be awake, my wonderful husband and I had stayed up late finishing off all the last minute things - like table numbers. Why oh why did we have to make a seating chart? We really should have just let people sit wherever they wanted, but no, we had to be clever and make cute little puzzle piece seating cards. Once at the hair salon I did better, but my eyes were so puffy I just kept thinking, this is last thing I wanted to happen on my wedding. it's supposed to be a day of fun and all I feel like doing is crawling back into bed. The hair dresser was so nice she gave me these things to put under my eyes to help reduce the puffiness (and she didn't charge me for them!) It was awesome, I looked like I was getting ready for an american football game. All I was missing was the helmet. Sexy, no?

In the end we had a gorgeous and fun day. Sure, a few minor things went wrong, but I didn't care and I'm sure our guests never even noticed. Oh, and by the time my dad and I were ready to walk down the aisle I had so much energy coursing through me. I no longer wanted to curl up and go to sleep. That might be because I actually did take a quick little cat nap (yep in my wedding dress) before the ceremony. We did things rather non-traditionally and took our wedding party pictures before the ceremony - yeah my groom saw me and it was wonderful, I don't regret it for a second. I was going to put a picture of me sprawled on the floor in my wedding gown but I realized it's not on this computer- oh wait, found it. Honestly, I don't think you could have found a bride who cared less about her dress being pristine for the ceremony. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my dress, it's just once I put it on for the day I was like, "OK, let's live it up." As long as it didn't rip I didn't care. The ceremony was outdoors, it was inevitable that it would get grass stained, but I thought, "really if all of our guests are noticing the grass stains on the hem of my gown then there is something wrong here." My maid of honor wanted to kill me, I'm sure. She kept grabbing up my train saying, "It's going to get dirty. it's going to get dirty." I was like, who cares? She apparently did very much. It was very sweet of her.

In the end we had a day full of fun and laughter, just as it should be. Some of the bridezillas I watched yesterday didn't even seem to be enjoying their day. One bride acted as though she didn't even want the groom to touch or kiss her for fear he would wrinkle her dress or ruin her make up. How ridiculous is that? I seriously wondered if some of those women really loved the man they were marrying or just the fact that they were getting married? The men must have loved them to put up with so much crap from their brides. If it's any indication to how their married life is going to go I feel sorry for those husbands!
Hey, maybe I am just as obsessed with my wedding as those bridezillas, I mean look I was married on September 1, 2007 and here it is February and I've found an excuse to talk about my wedding and post pictures too! hmmm....are all brides this consumed with their wedding even after it has passed? Maybe I just have it foremost in my mind not only from Bridezilla, but because we finally got our wedding album ordered and my mom picked it up for us. She says it looks fabulous. We approved the layout via emails and attachments, but I can't wait till we go back to the States in May - for my sisters wedding no less - and see the real deal. You ahve no idea how hard it was to pick out only 100 photos for our album. There were over 1400 photos taken! There were so many good ones, funny ones, touching ones, we had a terrible time narrowing it down. Luckily, we had the forethought to purchase the copyright to all of them so we can print out anyones we like. One of these days I'll have to sit down and make my own scrap book with all the silly pictures that didn't make it into the album. Actually, I could probably make about 3 scrapbooks with the number of photos we have! One really nice thing is that the photographer said he had never had as much fun with a bride as he had with me. I was goofy and willing to try things as well as had an idea of some funny pictures I wanted. One of my favorite pictures is my DH and I acting like monkeys, all decked out in our wedding attire in the middle of the road! Don't ask. Hey, at least I know on my wedding day I definitely wasn't a bridezilla. I just didn't really care at that point, you know what ever will be will be. in the end I think that's the best attitude you can have. Things might not have been perfect, but I didn't hear any major complaints from our guests. They all seemed to have a great time, dancing, eating, snacking on the candy buffet. We were surrounded by the people we love most in the world, we laughed most of the day, and had a beautiful sunshine filled day. Whether or not every little thing went as smoothly as it could it was the best day of my life. I wish I could do it again, exactly the same. It's funny I didn't want to take of my gown at the end of the night, even covered in grass stains and dirt I still loved wearing it!

OK, OK enough about my wedding. I'm sure there are some episodes of Bridezilla I haven't watched yet. Besides, I still have to finish my nieces second sock and perhaps I'll even be inspired to knit her a little matching hat...that would be cute. You know, I have no idea if these socks will even fit. They seem so incredibly small. And I didn't exactly follow a real baby sock/bootie pattern. I just sort of looked at sizes for baby booties and then made socks according to a sock pattern a friend (thanks Bereni) gave me when I first started knitting socks. So, I have no idea if these will fit or even stay on a new born babies foot...then again who knows when I'll get around to sending them. but, it's the thought that counts, right?